Why is it people think there’s something going on when in fact, there’s none? Or is it just me who’s blind enough not to see it?
It’s not much of a big deal but it was like as if people was making a big deal out of it. SERIOUSLY, WHEN I AM IN A FOUL MOOD I DON’T THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO LET THE WORLD KNOW ABOUT IT. Like tonight, for example. I realized certain things which I failed to do before and it actually felt weary. I have problems and issues and…yeah. I don’t think adding this thing to the list will make me feel much better.
It was only a simple message, for goodness sake! Yeah I know it’s soooooo rude not to appreciate everything. BUT I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO ASSUME, in that case you’re only making an ASS out of U and ME. And that’s totally gross enough.
“I don’t want this.” I told myself.
“I don’t like this.” I try convincing myself.
Am I only playing a serious game? Or I just let things flow that I didn’t have enough control to take it over?
Fudge. This wasn’t the right time and I guess it wasn’t also the right person. You can feel when there’s something going on. That person would be the one whom you’ll think when you have problems, but I guess it’s not what I did. I HAVE PROBLEMS NOW. Big problems, bigger than myself and my ego.
Like tonight when I realized how much of an unambitious I really am. I have no idea at all what will happen to me in the future. I want to have some achievements that I can tell my future sons and daughters about. I want them to be proud of me.
But I guess now I am failing. And obviously, nonsensical things like crushes or loves or flowers or chocolates didn’t make me feel less miserable.