I am not sure if I used the correct words here. I can’t express the feelings I held. It was like a flashback from the past. I know my words were too shallow. Don’t know what to say anymore.
I closed my eyes and sighed, looking back….
Memories are the only treasures that I kept in my heart. And when I looked back, I can’t help to shed a tear. It was one of the best moments in my life. It was my foundation, my history…
When I was a little girl, I had no care about the world or what others think of me. I grew up not having the extravagant toys that you will find in Toy Kingdom. I don’t have big doll houses or Disney toys. I only had a single Barbie Doll and a Play Kitchen which was granted as free from my father’s company. I never experience to play in Toy World or in any other Playground. I only experienced playing in the streets, with my neighborhood around. I grew up in a simple life, away from the weary world. I never asked for any toys, even my Dad refused to buy me a bicycle, because he told me it’s prone to accident. Yet sometimes, I envy my classmates who have a set of Bratz or Disney Princesses or Trolleys. I sometimes wonder, how did I survive my childhood years not having all those stuffs?
But then I told myself, if it’s not for it then I wouldn’t become as I am now. I never became the spoiled brat like the other lil’ girls. I became a different one, even when I was still a kid I knew my difference from them. I grew up in streets and in the neighborhood. I still remember the time when we climb on the tree, or when we chase each other and run through the streets. When we plucked red alateris and guavas, when we brought our baskets and have a picnic on the park near the Church, and when we watched the Basketball game every night. During Christmas, we sing and do the so-called “caroling” and then our collected money would be our fund for our Mini Store. When we pick up Gumamelas and crash it so that we can make bubbles, when we plucked Avocados and Sampaloc. When we played outside, even though it was raining, we slide and glide on the slippery road. When we feed our cats, and then one day we found a sick bird, we tried to cure her – but then my stubborn brother get the bird and feed it to the cat. I knew I cried that time, stupid brother for even existing. When we tie the long grasses like a knot, and when our enemies run for their lives – they’ll trip and then we laughed. We won the war.
It was the perfect scene as a child. Our house was the ideal one since we had many trees around; we had a big balcony compared to the other houses. We also had this cave, which was full of shells and clams. I still remember when we always pick it up, and collect it. There was a legend about the cave, they said that hundred years ago, it was part of a sea. That is why there were shells lying around. I smiled when I remembered that, thinking how I believe such thing. But then, it was my childhood memory. I will never forget any single details, because until now I’m still wishing if I could go back. It was the time when I am always happy, not caring about the world. Always smiling. It was the best of all. I guess I wouldn’t ask for anything at that time. Everything was perfect.
But still, we need to grow up. We moved our house in a nearby town. At first, I had difficulty in adopting my new place. But slowly, I tried to mingle with the new people around me. We had an enemy, and every time they go near our base, we would put baits on the road and throw stones at them. I learned how to fight; I am a street child after all. I played street games like Moro moro, Patintero, Bang-sak, Langit-Lupa, etc. Then we would sneak out every night just to play Taguan. I lost my single Barbie Doll, but my Play Kitchen still survived. After that, my Mum still hadn’t bought me a new Doll.
Yet, it was okay for me. What could I wish for? I don’t need those Dolls, it was too girlie for me. I don’t even need the make up set, or the techie devices like game boy, play station, etc. We never had that. I only had a tamagochi, but then I lost that too. I guess it wasn’t good for me to own a thing, because I always misplaced it.
Too bad, I crave for those things when I turned 10. And still, Mum won’t buy me. So I always stomped my foot on the ground and had mood swings – tantrums as they say. And I became a stubborn one, but I cope up with that after a year. If I can’t get what I want, I don’t care. I must accept it even though I always felt insecure…
I opened my eyes again. It was like everything happened from a dream, a Dreamland.
Those were the old days. The days that could never brought back.
The days I wished was still here…but all was left was a mere memory.
I published this last November 9, 2009. I just wanted to share it to the world 🙂 LOL