She’s indecisive, she can’t decide.

05 Mar

A few months can change everything. I’ve seen that happen to me, not once, but many times. If there is no constant communication, your relationship with some people changes. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, they say, but it also makes you forget. Of course, those happy moments, you can never replaced them nor overlook them. But that’s it was all about – a mere memory.

You know for sure that you care for them; you love them – your family, your friends, etc. But without steady bonding, one day you’ll realize that, things have changed. It’s not the way it was before. Eventually you’ll feel abandoned, lost like a puppy in a deserted place. Like, when you see them again, you will always feel ‘out of place’ because you’re not hearing their retorts or gossips or even stories about their life unlike before. Within those few months, it seems as if every moment you’ve been together was nothing but a sheer experience that took place in your life once, you spend time with them and laughed with them. But that it was all about. I doubt if it’ll ever become constant, or if the word ‘friends forever’ was real. After all, people come and go.

That’s why finding your partner for the rest of your life seems to be so scary too. Because you’ll never know if he will stick with you, or if he will change too – just like the seasons, it passes by. There is no assurance if that person you meet today will be there with you ‘forever’. It seems as if forever is a false idea, an absurd thing that never existed.

It’s also the reason why you kept on holding back in that one moment of chance, or chances since you missed it many times. You never knew and never sure if that someone pursuing after you is The One. You never know if he will always be there for you, and you don’t want to take the risk. You know for a fact that he’ll get tired of you soon, it always happens right? Or maybe, it’ll be the other way around.

What if it’s not enough? You’re not enough? It always goes like that.

If a few months can change everything, what about a few years? Or many years? Will your relationship be ever like that the first time you met each other, the first time you share your kiss, the first time you bond together? That moment of blissful joy, it never lasts.

Love comes and go…and it hurts. It hurts to know that the most essential thing in life can disappear in a blink of an eye.

Happiness is not constant. And so is love. I guess I can never fall in love if this is how I perceive things… but who knows? No one does. There are so much “What if’s” that constantly bugging me every time.

No Shit Sherlock is the ideal one, or maybe not.

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Posted by on March 5, 2011 in Gobbledygook


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