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Srsly, how insensitive could I be?

14 Feb

Is it really necessary to have a date on Valentine’s Day?

Some random guy asked me out on a date today, well he’s not so random, but he’s the guy whom I talked to yesterday because I asked him about his experiences on his internship. He’s very nice, and he’s intelligent. But the thing is, he’s like 26 years old and I’m 18. Well, I have no problems with age gap. However, the only thing that bothers me is that I don’t really feel comfortable going out with someone on a date. Especially with a guy whom I hadn’t talked before until yesterday. He’s just this guy whom I shared smiles when we both walked on the same corridor.

I had my first date before, and it turns out to be uncomfortable for me. And I guess I bore that person. You see, I am really not much of a talker, well except when I’m around with my friends but that’s a different story. Besides, I know this guy doesn’t like me too much, and I don’t want my friends to know that we went out because that would create an issue for me since I am not that kind of girl who randomly say yes to any guy who asked me out. The thing is, its kind of rude to ignore that guy because I saw him near our classroom and I didn’t tell him about my decision that I am not free tonight, that I have something to do and that I don’t go on dates. Although maybe I could tell him that tomorrow, or the next day when I see him at school. But still, what I did was rude and I haven’t told anyone about it because I don’t want to make it as a big deal. Besides, like I said before that I don’t feel comfortable talking about these things because I don’t want to sound so insensitive, although what I did was very insensitive.

*Sigh*

I really don’t feel so lonely this valentine’s day, because what’s so new about it? And what makes me think again is that, why would that guy asked me out on a valentine’s day? It’s so cliched that I’ve seen so many roses or cakes or balloons inside our school and I don’t really want to go on a cliched day to spend some time with him. If he’s really interested with me, well he should have asked me out on a date when it’s not valentine’s day. Besides, I really don’t need a date today. Who cares anyway?

I remember last year’s post valentine’s day, when a friend of mine brought me a bouquet of flowers and I didn’t sound too much excited about it, or too thankful for that matter. I am always rude when it came to guys liking me and I couldn’t help it, maybe I grew up to be like that. It always looks like I never appreciate anything, but honestly, I do appreciate things. I just don’t want to show it to people because I am scared that I would expect too much and that later on, my expectations would turn out to disappointment. I really don’t need that right now.

*Sigh* again. Maybe next year, I would have a date… with someone I would feel comfortable with.

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Posted by on February 14, 2012 in Doomsday

 

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