Confessions II

18 Aug

Here is the second part of my “Confessions”, I was laughing because I used jargon words through ‘synonyms’ from MS Word. I can still remember the night when I wrote this. Words such as “laborious” , “rapturous”, “rebuff”, “jovial” and so on makes me cringe. I never thought I was a copy cat. Hahaha! 🙂



Half-decision made.

“A teeter-totter works only when the weight is evenly distributed. It’s a bit like love in that way.”

Some of us do not have the ability to display emotions as easily as others. But does that make the feelings any less real? The world still didn’t stop on mystifying me about what answer I will respond to him. It was a kind of a bit rapturous feeling but there are always qualms that rebuff on my emotions. It was a laborious situation that even Einstein can’t release on its powerful enchantment. It was more than the computations in Physics and more complicated than the problems in Mathematics. That’s the intense emotion that I am possibly felt right now, I still don’t know whether it’s this so called “puppy love” or “studies”. Let’s us review first what happened to me this day, wow I can’t imagine that I am writing an essay with a diary combined on it…

It was a beautiful Monday for me when I am in school, awarding for the outstanding officers happened during flag ceremony, a big crap of jovial fun occurred in recess and lunch break, my “best friend” and I almost roam the school because we’re looking for some administrator staffs to fill up my application form in DLSU, but unfortunately I didn’t even accomplished even one of the recommendation form that must be fill up. My “best friend” knew the thing about my first made essay because I told her so, so she asked me to lend it to her and have a read. I give it to her wholeheartedly without any hesitation because I was confident that she wouldn’t let any one to read it and will keep it as a secret. But in a fateful situation, it happened that she let someone to get it from her, and unluckily, that ‘someone’ is him. I just realize it when he go in front of our classroom and direct it towards in my direction; I just noticed that it was my work “Confessions” because I recognize the fonts and the style of printing. I was stunned when it happened and changed my direction towards my classmate and chat with them, pretending that nothing really happened. During the subject after break, I was still thinking about it and about the one I trust to handle-it-w/-care, I feel very infuriated to her because of what she did. I don’t know if I forgive and forget about what happened. Pity on her! It became a dreadful afternoon after the dismissal. A feel of a bit embarrassment was lately realized and I was very ashamed to look and talk to him. It feels like the world betrayed me…

Love comes in so many different levels, that it doesn’t appear to be the same emotion at all, but it is. There is so much to love, that it will be hard to put into this simple essay. It can tear people apart and make us do irrational things to bringing together entire nations. What can this emotion not do? It’s hard to tell, but there is a lot it can. There are many things that cease to have meaning when Love enters the door. Time may well be one of them. Just like in putting the situation on me, you will really take time to think of the answer. But, I have an idea of what probable answer I can respond. I used my mind more than what I feel on this response. It’s a 75% of rejection and 25% of sanction. This answer is not yet visualized well and not yet the conclusion. Now I know that I must use my mind in every decision I will make, because my mind weighs more than my heart. There’s no word of confusion now, it will only devastate my time in studying. I need to focus now on my study, I need to proved that I can be the greatest. I failed once and I will never ever fail again. Even in smitten situations that will came into my life; I need to prioritize first my study. Love is often buffeted about by the winds of life. But finding our true course is simply a matter of changing direction. I am too young to be committed in the world of LOVE. Sometimes, confusion attacks our mind but we need to tussle on it. Thinking that love from ‘someone’ does not exist, either way I can’t help it. =)

Maturity isn’t always measured by age. And sometimes, two people of the same age may feel very different things.

“There are instances in life when Love is circumscribed within the boundaries of a single moment – any yet, lives forever.”

PS: Anything above is only FICTION, but it can possibly happen in reality.

DATE: September 8, 2008 at 6:45pm

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Posted by on August 18, 2016 in Confessions, Uncategorized


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