Category Archives: Gobbledygook

Contains jargon thoughts and images you’d never missed. It’s fun to be boring sometimes. Where’s all the action?

Enough is enough? LOL

So last night I’m a bit melodramatic. It’s funny how I’m looking through some old blogs from those people whom I didn’t really know =))) But anyways, our lunch date together turns out to be okay. Although I am not sure if there’s going to be a next time. At least it’s not as awkward as I thought it would have been. I just hope I was able to do that during my first date 2 years ago. He’s much more interested in me than you are. But I pushed him away. Ugh, if given a chance… would it still matter?

Haha. Silly thoughts of mine. Seriously, I realized I am not the only one who’s thinking these thoughts =))) There are other girls out there, doing the same thing. It’s kinda comforting knowing I am not the only one having these dramas in life LOL

Graduation is coming!!! I am not sure if I’ll be excited for that =))

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Posted by on March 21, 2013 in Gobbledygook


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When learning ceases.

THREE YEARS into the university, I have found myself slipping into that black hole of being a slave to my grades a couple of times. When your professor tells you to forget about the grade you’ll get, that is a breath of fresh air. It reminds me of the student I sometimes fail to be.

We were having a class discussion about whether the formal mode of instruction is outdated for the learning style of our generation—the kids who grew up with the power to do homework, research and learn something (although perhaps superficially) all at their fingertips. When the class was asked what kind of education we wanted to receive, I pointed out that I wanted an education operating the way it should: with students attending a class hungry to learn and acquire the skills needed to make them competent contributors to their own chosen fields, rather than entering a classroom every single day with the ultimate goal of pleasing the teacher and meeting the minimum requirements to pass the course. Our professor’s reply was:

“If I could use a time machine, I would go back to the time when the grading system was invented and I would destroy it. Because of its invention, teaching ceased to be a calling and became a profession. I can only imagine the amount of potential we kill every time teachers give a student a grade of 5. A grade is but a number. Never let anyone judge you by a number, much less yourself. The day you start caring about your grades is the day you stop learning. A card of excellence is just a piece of paper. It will rot. But the knowledge you get because you wanted to learn—that’s yours forever, or you could pass it on.”

It would be hypocritical of me to wash hands and say I did not fall for the system. Of course I did and I probably still do on certain occasions. And what is even sadder is that I am not the only one who does. Most of us are guilty of it. At the end of the day, we all emerge with passing marks but when we look back, we remember not even a tinge of enjoyment because we were all too preoccupied with trying to pass the course.

Before I went college, recognition day was to me among the most important in the academic calendar. I looked at it as a time for me to shine. It made me feel admired and important.

When I was new in college, I would patiently join the line of students outside every department waiting for a chance to claim our class cards at the end of every semester. Back then, it felt really good to tell your parents you had aced your subjects.

Several semesters later, however, I would hear my mom complaining about not seeing my class cards anymore. It started when I was getting my class card for a subject which I really liked. I was already third in line in front of the department assistant releasing the class cards when I felt like it did not matter to me anymore. I did not see the need to shine and feel important like before. I turned around and went back. The subject exceeded my expectations and I loved it not because it gave me a chance to get a grade of 1, I loved it because I loved it. I was satisfied, and like pearls to milk tea, grades are just an add-on.

I know some students who get better grades than me. Ironically, they sometimes sound more jaded than me and some complain about studying. When I hear them ranting, I almost always fall silent and brood over whether I am being just like everybody else, enslaved by a scale of 1 to 5. I sometimes do.

When times get really tough and I have to fulfill what I think people believe to be my role, I have this feeling to just get it over with. When I recall those times, I would regret depriving myself the feeling of being in that moment. I hate looking back and seeing my tired self, even if such a moment was a milestone because I did something new, something right or something different. If I throw my worries out of the box, there’s more space for excitement. So I have decided to keep it simple and to live learning.

Our professor explained it this way:

“It is not about whether our mode of teaching is outdated or not. It is about what learning means to this generation now. (For example,) many students do not enjoy mathematics because fear of failure preempts the experience. They fear math either because they are already afraid of the teacher giving them a 5  and/or because people say math is difficult. It is sad. Most students are defeated even before the first lesson.”

He was right. The reason I said it was the education I want to have is that I feel most students are falling for this system. Today, most students try to find out what a teacher is like, what the teacher’s class requirements are and what they need to do  in order to get a passing mark, instead of trying to determine what is there to be learned and giving it all their effort. Students who fancy a little euphemism call it being pragmatic, but I think it defeats the essence of learning. Most children get tired of going to school because every single day is just another day of trying to avoid failing. They learn their lessons superficially—only just enough to get them to the next level—but they don’t know them well. It is like building a city of skyscrapers—made of wood.

My grade school or high school self would have been devastated not to see excellent marks on my report card. My college self, however, will look at the grades on my class card, whatever they may be, with contentment. They may not always be high, but I’m happy to say I learned and I enjoyed doing something at my own pace because that is where I am at my best. I do not want to learn at the expense of my own enjoyment, being too busy trying to achieve and to be something people think I should be.

A few years back, I thought that it was my grades that got me all the respect and affection I was getting,  that it was my grades that became my ticket to the university and the basis for all the scholarship grants that I received. Now I say it was not my grades, but it was me. It was my effort. It was my liking for what I do. Grades gauge some things, but they are not everything. They cannot speak for what goes beyond them. There is so much more to learning than getting a grade of 1.

Raiza Michaella Kasilag, 19, is a 4th year BS Nursing student at the University of the Philippines Manila.

When Learning Ceases
by: Raiza Michaella Kasilag
(Philippine Daily Inquirer)

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Posted by on July 25, 2011 in Gobbledygook


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What’s up?

So I’ve been like, gone for almost a month?

No posts and whatsoever. Well, my life’s been normal for these past few weeks. Actually, I love summer school and meeting my friends. I’m quite in a good mood….and I don’t know why.

FYI, I am not inspired nor in love with someone. I just realized what’s the point of whining? Of hating things? Hate is a self-inflicted wound. And I am only wasting my time hating things that didn’t go with my plans.

From now on, I should always look at the bright side. 🙂

Oh, how I love these life changing thoughts. ♥

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Posted by on May 6, 2011 in Gobbledygook


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Somersault upon words.

I am aware of the fact that my blogs weren’t always read by many.

If you’re lucky, you’d stumble upon this site and since you’ve read the first few lines, you’d be curious what was this all about?

I asked myself that sometimes, “What were my blogs all about?”

And I came up with something like, “It’s about me…everything, life, people I meet, people who hurt me, secrets and lies…whines, etc.”

But it all goes back to, blog site = me.

Everything about my blog site is about me, of course. That’s obvious, right? But did my love ones knew about this? Did those people who I cared so much read my blogs?

I can answer that. And the answer is…


They don’t.

Well, maybe some of them.

But did that count?

I wonder if when will I stop thinking about nonsense thing, or whine about things. And for once, I asked myself if I have really made this blog site because no one seems to listen to me anymore? Or I have so many issues in life that I can’t put it into actual spoken words which are why I chose to do it in a virtually, typed-written words?

That’s stupid, but then that was the truth.

I always feel like everything I did was not enough. Not enough for my parents. Not enough for my friends. Not even enough for myself.

I wish to be more…better than who I am right now.

I’ve tried singing before, but I lose all my confidence (even though I wanted to get back at singing, it seems like it’s so hard to do that, saying that I’ve gained a lot of confidence now). I’ve lost myself on the road. I know what my dream was…but that seems to be so hard on my part. I needed to start again, and I don’t know when. But I should before it’s too late to get back on the road again.

Which is why I chose another alternative, my intelligence (though I wasn’t really that good, but I’m not stupid…I’m just an average), my ability in academic excellence. Those were my second options. As it turns out, I’m quite good in accounting. I never had a failing grade so far, and I’m almost junior now. Two more years and I’m finished in college! Hope that I’d passed the board exam. I want my parents to be proud of me.

Well I also thought of becoming a writer, one that I learned from my high school friends. See? I never liked the smell of books until I was in senior high school. That’s where I met my friends – Logan, Lau, Ann – I call them, but that wasn’t their real names. During the last few years, I thought about publishing a book and become famous for it like Shakespeare, Nicholas Sparks, JK Rowling, Paulo Coelho, Meg Cabot, etc. Become known as a poet, a writer, an author. However, it turns out I don’t have the raw talent on it. Let’s just say that I’m better at singing rather than making poetic lines and stuffs. And also, I prefer reading stories, not the one who’s writing them. But sometimes I make stories on my head and try to put them on a paper, truth to be told, those stories I’ve written relate on some part of my life. I am too amateur to write a book.

Fourth? Hmmm. Let’s say I’ve thought of being into sports, but I don’t have any talents on sports. I never did. I hate PE. But I love the ecstasy and the freedom it gave me whenever I’m running or playing, it’s just that, I don’t have the ability to play sports. I am too skinny and small to do it. So let’s leave the fourth option.

Well the last option was, to meet a rich man who would sweep me off my feet and give me big houses and many kids! So I can live the rest of my life on bed of roses. But then again, that’s pretty stupid and unlikely to happen.

Guess which one I chose? Of course, the second option. That’s where I’m headed off right now, to become a professional CPA. Though I still dream about being kind of a singer…someday.

All in all, my frustrations in life were written in this blog site. Before, I owned one from my Friendster account since I am not aware that there were other blog sites. I’ve posted blogs about my puppy first crush in college on that site, and my thoughts about it. But guess what? When I think about the guy I liked on the very first day of school, it seems as though it didn’t happen to me. I’ve totally forgotten about the story, and I wished I never wrote those things. But I already did, right? And part of me was thankful for that, since I’ve learned something from it that I won’t learn if I didn’t do it.

You know what the funny part of this all? I yearned for readers on my blog site. Even if there’s nothing ‘exciting’ about this site, and I am too predictable for the exciting part, I’d love to hear a few response from some person who’s reading this.

Maybe some of you haven’t met me. But then, you already know who I am.

Wanna know a secret?

Before I died, I wanted to make something that people will remember me for it. I wanted to put a mark on this world. A mark that would tell I existed and lived here. Though they won’t remember my name, at least they will remember my face and they’d say, “Hey isn’t that the girl who __________­­­­­­­­­­­_______?”

And likewise said, I would want to fill that blank someday before my death.

Then people would read this, isn’t that great?

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Posted by on April 9, 2011 in Gobbledygook


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Protected: Where are the T-shorts, guys?

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Posted by on April 8, 2011 in Gobbledygook


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Litany out of my life.

I keep on writing things about my life or about life in particular. It’s funny since I realized now that my blogs were actually litany. I say too much, but I haven’t stated the main point. I confuse people much about my works, and I remembered when my professor told me I brought too many ideas and that is when I went wrong with my essay, I failed to focus on a single point.

It’s good to hear that your work was being criticized since you know where you went wrong and you can make it right. By constant practice, one can make her work better than what she did before. As for me, I’ve been practicing all my life to be a perfect person…a perfect daughter, a perfect friend.

But no one’s perfect right? It depends on how we define and see perfection. It may be by looks, by personality, or by money, or by how you described words, or even by actions. Who sees me as a the perfect one? I’ve no idea.

Like my blogs, I am confusing. Life’s complicated when it came to me. Or maybe, I’m the one who’s making it seem more complicated.

I made a litany out of my life. That’s where I went wrong.

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Posted by on March 19, 2011 in Gobbledygook


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What did the book says?

Reading. It’s been a while since I read a book and sip a cup of coffee. I, myself, am a philosopher of life. I have so many basic questions about life and no one ever has answered it. It’s not even in the books. It’s not even on history. It’s nowhere to be found. Simply because people cannot describe their experiences, they can never put life on a single book, or a single story. It’s diverse. It’s always unpredictable.

But one person made me realized some things about life. One person, though he doesn’t even know me, inspires me. And I realized, I am not the only one who thinks the same thing. There were billions of other people who suffer the same thing I suffer, but it doesn’t mean they felt the same thing as I am.

Though I wasn’t sure if it’s the book that help me become a better person, or if it’s the lessons that the book gave me in order to understand life better. It’s great to know that I wasn’t the only one who’s thinking the same idea, we both do. Paulo Coelho was indeed a remarkable one for writing those books! He made me realize so many things, and behind those, it made me a better person. Wow, too much of repeating the lines isn’t it?

I wasn’t a good writer. Paulo Coelho is. He put all those words in his books. His words simply explain everything I cannot explain to myself. What he writes, it isn’t about him, it’s also about the lives of other people he met. This is the reason why his books are applicable to everyone. That’s why we can relate on it, because we experienced it too.

What a splendid author, at first I thought his books aren’t that great. But whatever, I already read The Devil and Miss Prym and The Zahir and I can definitely say….zfjhskdhfhdkhdf wow!

More books to read. Yayyyy 🙂

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Posted by on March 19, 2011 in Gobbledygook


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