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Tag Archives: love

Afterall, what is my purpose?

10 months had passed since the last time I made a post in here. And in the span of 10 months, so many things had changed, so many things happened. There were a mixture of good and bad things. But mostly, it consist of the time I spent with my boyfriend. Yes, I have a boyfriend now. My first real boyfriend. My first real love. My first in everything. We’ve been six months together (since September 8, 2013) and those moments composed of precious memories. I’ve got to know this person more, and I’ve got to fall for him more. I never get tired of loving him, never get tired of talking to him. We’ve been like this for almost a year now, even before we became official.

What I would like to say is that, it is possible for us to find real love in this complicated world. I have my own issues before (or should I say, personal issues) and I felt depressed during the past few years in my life. Mostly consisting of self-inflicted pain. But then he came, and changed my views in life. I’ve always tried to please others, conscious about what they think of me, and then he came, telling me along the way that I should not bother what others think of me, because by doing so, I am only depriving myself of my own happiness. My happiness is more important than theirs, so why not do things that makes me feel happy?

Well currently in my relationship, I am happy. However in my career, I am not. Although I passed the board examinations, became a licensed professional in my field, I felt as if it is not my call. I felt as if I am doing this because others expect me to, or because this is the flow for everyone in the same field as I am. Why did I ever took up my course in the first place? Because others see it as having a real good future, but does it consist of being stressed in your work? Overwork can kill us. Stressful environment can create mental anguish and physical distress. I think I am not prepared for this. I am being underpaid on my efforts and it feels like I am not interested in my field of work. I do not have that driving force to work hard and be better in my career. I feel like I am losing my purpose, or not doing good enough to keep up my accomplishments in life. Afterall, where is my self-fulfillment?

I feel so lost now.

 

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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The Naked Truth

This is my little experiment. It’s been more than a month since I always talked to this guy almost every day/night. So, my little test is not to talk to him tonight. Let’s see whether or not he’ll miss me, and admit it to me. Depending on whether or not I will miss him as well (and admit it to myself)

Mehehehehe. This is my strategy >:) my test of faith… or not.

I’m kind of being a little weird tonight. Ugh.

 
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Posted by on May 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Occupied

I was a bit preoccupied these past few days to think of depressing thoughts.

So again, I am a bit happy with my life right now. What I am looking for is focus and preparation for my review, 18 days from now 😦

Wish me luck and I hope it’s in God’s grace for me to pass the board examinations 🙂

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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No Pressure

The guy on the radio confessed his feelings for her.

Yea. He likes her. Not so sure if it’s a lot though. But still, he likes her 70% personality and 30% appearance. That’s how he said it.

There it is. Oh boy, that guy on the radio totally likes her. Now, she’s under pressure. She still wants to be friends. She wants to take things slowly. Well, just go with the flow shall we?

It may not seem to be as deep as the ones before him, but he’s a good catch, right? He’s really a good guy. Don’t mess with this one.

No pressure.

 
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Posted by on May 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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That girl on the radio

That guy on the radio. His voice ringing through my ears every time I put the volume up. I’ve seen him countless times on the hallways of our school but I never really got the chance to know him before like I do now. I called once on station 121. He picked up my call and we talked. Since then, he noticed me as well.

That guy on the radio. We keep on talking every night. Our conversation goes about anything under the sun. My body clock has changed because of him. I am not used to sleeping late, but it seems as if late does not apply in here. I am starting to think I sleep early – early in the morning.

That guy on the radio. He calls me different names. I guess that’s just his way of showing affection or I am not so sure. But I like it. I like the way he calls me names. And it made me smile.

That guy on the radio. He basically almost know the story of my life as of this moment. After all, I am the only avid listener of station 121. I am his only fan, or so I would like to think that. I am the only one who’s wide awake at 3 am in the morning, listening to him while he’s doing the same favor to me.

That guy on the radio. I wonder if we meet, would it be awkward? Or would it be comfortable, just like how we talked right now? Our virtual conversation got deeper until I told him almost all of my little secrets. I guess that’s how our relationship works. Or that’s how I work in a relationship. I am so good at being virtual, but once personally expressed, it’s just so damn hard to become faced to faced with a jock. A disc jock. A guy on the radio, if you get what I mean.

That guy on the radio. We decided to meet. To spend some time together. The ordinary girl, which is obviously me, is going to go out with a guy on the radio. How awesome is that?

That guy on the radio. Whoever he is, don’t let himself be flattered about this. After all, what do guys on the radio really know about? They only know how to listen. But they never really know the story behind. They never really know who’s….wait a minute. He is not a guy on the radio. Guys on radios don’t listen. They rant and brag about things. But the listener, is actually the one at the receiving end.

I realized, I am that guy on the radio.

The girl on the radio.

 
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Posted by on April 22, 2013 in Scrollpress

 

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Srsly, I made it happen.

Do you remember the one friend I talked to you about? That nice guy? He’s finally getting all warmed up on me. Well, I’m not so sure. But I think he’s kinda getting attached talking to me. Um, that’s how I felt for the first few weeks. Remember the post I wrote about me missing him? Suddenly, it seems as if the tables had been turned. I know right? 

I am not so sure “Waddup” (say it like Barney Stinson did) is going on but I’m pretty sure we surpass that awkward barrier of getting to know each other via virtual conversation. I hope our summer getaway a week from now would turn out just…. great!

 
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Posted by on April 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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I would walk a thousand miles

If she could go back to high school, would she still give him a chance?

She turned down a nice guy who asked her out. Although she knows deep down that she really liked him too, but she turned him down for no good reason at all. She told him she was not yet ready, and she still have to finish college. But now that she’s done with college, she felt like she was robbed off her teenage years. Like she became too much of a playing safe gal.

She wrote him a blog when she was a senior high school. She entitled it “Confessions”. Yea, that’s how romantically pathetic she sounds. Ugh. She hate this so called feelings of regret.

Maybe things are meant to be this way. There are a few guys trying to win her over. Perhaps she should just look closer to them and see if things will work out. But there’s this one guy, a nice guy, not her type though, whom she like talking to.

She won’t say no more and over-analyze these things. She’ll be happy as she can with whatever choices she have made.

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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